budsky_art

"Singles Awareness Day"

2009-05-26T03:51:24Z

I hate Valentine's Day. Lousy Hallmark driven "holiday". Yes I'm alone, lonely, and bitter. And before this day is done, I'm going to pee on a bed of flowers and kick a puppy. Well...no, I'm not *that* fargone, but I certainly do feel like it. Won't this day hurry up and be over already?!

Totally defeating the purpose.....

2009-05-26T03:41:57Z

As of this writing (May 25th, 2009), I have let 14 weeks pass since I last posted a journal. 14 weeks?! Gah, has my life spun so much out of control that I cannot bring myself to make a blog entry at least once a week? Short term (and wholly unexcusable) answer...yes. Long term (and more plausible) answer...sheer utter laziness.

So, thanks to the miracle that is "Date Out of Order", I can go back and make note of some key events and observations. Granted this totally defeats the purpose of a regular blog (and the assumed regular updates keeping one would entail). Hey, to be fair...it hasn't been an utter loss. I've jotted down many a topic on paper with the intention of blogging. That shows *some* form of dedication does it not?

Rhetorical question. Answer not desired.

Can't stop listening to "My Maudlin Career"

2009-02-10T06:38:25Z

It's sadder and more heartbreaking than what I've heard so far from Camera Obscura. It could possibly drive me to suicide with a smile on my face.....

JOY!!! (and tears...)

2009-02-10T06:11:19Z

New Camera Obscura album is slated for release this April! That is so faaaar away >_<; but they released a single as a tease. "My Maudlin Career", title track from the similarly named upcoming album. <sigh> It's more than I expected, better than I could ever hope for! I'm giddy with anticipation, and preparing for the inevitable wave of melancholy listening to Camera Obscura can induce. Only TraceyAnne Campbell can have such a sway on my emotions...and I LOVE IT!!!

I want to do a webcomic too!

2009-02-03T07:35:58Z

I'm still having trouble getting the artistic ball "rolling" so to speak. I need something to sketch regularly to give me incentive (and drive) to build up the drawing momentum I'm so sorely lacking right now. Enter a possible solution: a webcomic!

Actually, I've been kicking around the idea of illustrating my own webcomic for a while now. I had one previously that I was working on, a collaboration between me and another artist...but sadly due to creative differences, I opted to end my run on the strip; which was a real shame too considering how much fun and challenging it was to devise strips on such a random and wacky concept. Out of respect for the creator, I won't post any of the work...though it pains me so since I always thought it would have been a bona fide hit. We even developed some 'merch.

But I have a new original strip in the works. Without giving too much away, all I can say is that it is a comic rife full of struggle, drama, and perhaps some betrayal - hopefully with plenty of laughs along the way...all involving a bowl of fruit on the kitchen table. If anything, I wouldn't suggest getting too terribly attached to the characters, you'll never know who will be the next victim of The Bowl. =D

If all goes well I will join the ranks of my favorite webcomics such as You'll Have That and Scary Go Round!

Where does the time go?

2008-12-28T07:09:29Z

Seriously, it's been a YEAR?! And where the hell was I in all of this? I guess I could do a year in review, but there's lots about 2008 I would rather leave behind. Besides, if it was important enough to blog, I would have already written it down by now. A more interesting post would be to ponder what 2009 may have in store. Of course, this begs the usual "resolutions for the new year"...of which I haven't given any real thought. I'd like to come up with something more meaningful than the commonplace (and trite) "lose some weight" or "____ more this year". We'll see....

I do know that one of my New Year's resolutions *must* involve my art. I've been putting a lot of stuff in the back burner for far too long, and it's just plain sad and depressing. I just need to finish a *single* piece to get this snowball rolling!

Silly I know....

2008-12-01T04:49:31Z

I hate to admit this, but as the holidays roll around one of the things I like to do is leave drawings for (cute) waitresses whenever I go out to eat. I don't know how it all started, but I do know I've been doing it for the last couple of years. Depending on the time at hand and the company I'm with, I'll usually grab a napkin and a pen (or if I'm really prepared I'll have a mini-sketchbook and art brushpen with me) and doodle something holiday themed to leave along with the tip.

It isn't easy being a server, and I can only imagine how thankless and trying a job it can be at times...especially with all the selfish wretched idiots out there who feel the world is owed to them everywhere they go. I have a lot of friends who have been or are currently working as servers, and my kudos goes out to them. I do find it funny that aside from getting much needed drawing practice, what I wind up doodling I usually want to keep in a sketchbook. "Now why can't I draw like this in my sketchbook?!" ...<sigh> I suppose I need a bit of pressure or some competition to put me at my best. Probably explains why my drawings came out so much better in art class or at work than when I'm alone sketching. Figures....

Above all else, my goal is to put a smile on a waitress' face. If it's the bright spot of holiday infused cheer to an otherwise rough and busy day, then I've done my job. Granted I am a hopeless romantic, but I don't ever expect anything out of it (in case anyone's wondering)...though it would be nice if I can get the attention of a cutie outside of the restaurant. Hey, I can dream can't I?

Today was a fun one. Had lunch with my good friend Leo at the BJs Pizzeria in Covina, and I did a little sketch of my infamous "Devil and Angel Girls". For one brief moment, my Angel Girl was being good and offered up a present to the Devil Girl (instead or tormenting her, as usual). It was an idea that hit me one a whim, and I just may redo a nice Illustrator version of it. Y'know, add it to the pile of other drawings I'd like to finish one day. Lol. I ought to name those characters to make it easier to reference from here on. For the record, the waitress who served us today was really cute too...!

Need...more...SOCOM....

2008-11-11T03:32:44Z

Eagerly counting down the minutes. Waiting for my "green light" to flee the office and rot my brain on some more SOCOM. <sigh> I'm so ashamed of myself right now..... Not even thinking about picking up dinner on the drive back, that would just waste precious game time. LOL

Another wrench in the works

2008-11-10T08:04:01Z

I got that PS3 I've been promising myself. Of course, whatever art I wanted to work on has fallen to the wayside...taking a backseat to SOCOM: Confrontation, Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway, and Valkyria Chronicles. All excellent games each fulfilling my needs as a warmonger (tactical shooting, tactical World War 2 shooting, and World War 2 inspired tactics.... Hmmm, I do see a theme there). I suppose my art will suffer until I overdose on my PS3. Then it will be off to my minis painting (the resurrection of Space Hulk and a big block of Anima Tactics figs), and *hopefully* back to my sketching, especially now that I want to sidetrack into a new experimental phase. Oh what have I done?!

I never knew...!

2008-11-03T06:45:57Z

Lunch was catered from a Chinese place the other day, a little spot called Joy Feast in Burbank. For the most part, the food was above average for a Chinese place (and I'm a rather harsh judge). At the end of the meal, I fished out a fortune cookie from the delivery bags. I popped mine open and expected the usual vague and "engrish" ladden advice about friends, relationships, and/or financial affairs coupled with a set of "winning" lottery numbers. Instead, I get the *coolest* fortune I've read in a long time: "Your mystical powers will grow stronger this month".

..........

Say what? Mystical powers? *I* have mystical powers? AWESOME! And it only took a random fortune cookie for me to realize them?! Only time will tell if I shall use them for good or evil...or extraordinary evil bordering on spy supervillany (because that's pretty high on the hierarchy of evil).

That reminds me, I need to get myself a decent desktop scanner. I so wanted to scan in the fortune and post it here. Well, that and use the scanner for my artwork....

*Art Alert* There's a book published by Frogchildren called "Sixteen Miles to Merricks and Other Works" by Barnaby Ward. EXCELLENT BOOK, look it up NAO!!!

Random thought....

2008-10-27T06:16:35Z

Being in "The Business" (i.e., media entertainment), I'm privy to a bit of the rules and regulations that govern that industry. Most of it is still undecipherable babble to me....licensing, copyright, residuals, non-disclosure agreements, etc. etc. Anyhow, what struck me odd was how in-depth it goes, and how talent (actors, musicians, artists, everyone) cannot even begin to think about lifting a finger without going through a battery of forms and contracts. I bring this up because I wondered (and I pose this question to whoever may be reading this) if this goes for even the minor no-name talent used to fill in commercials and do low cost covers...or worse yet, ad jingles modelled after known songs.

I laugh every time I see the "Viva Viagra" commercials. You know the ones I'm talking about.... First of all, they're just absolutely *wretched* commercials. Granted, I don't know how else the powers that be could have effectively marketed viagra, but surely there must be a better campaign they could have cooked up. How much must it suck to be that guy (and his band) whose claim to fame is to sing the viagra jinle in the key of Elvis Presley's "Viva Las Vegas"? Does he get residual checks every time it airs? Worse yet, I wonder if he uses it as a pick-up line in bars. "You know those Viva Viagra commercials? Well guess who sings it; yep that's right, it's all me!" O_o'

I suppose it is still much better than using original songs. How dare advertisers besmirch eternal favorites from New Order, Modern English, The Specials and countless others. That however could be a whole other topic best saved for another day.

At the movies: Quarantine

2008-10-12T21:20:21Z

This goes against my better judgement, but for some reason, I kinda liked Quarantine. There might be some spoilers, so if you care to watch the movie skip this journal entry, you have been warned!

**possible spoilers ahead**

I can't really explain why I liked this movie. In fact, it's very probable that "like" is too strong a word. Yet I was amused by it, and was able to tolerate it despite some very glaring faults and transparent cliches. Perhaps I was starved for a movie, period. Maybe being away from my old job for a while now has made it so that films no longer cause the bias inducing traumatic backlash I have against the industry that usually sucks out my enjoyment of the cinema. Or maybe the change in weather put me in a movie watching mood....

Without going into too much of the plot detail, this movie unfolds in the "as seen from the cameraman's POV". That equals gratuitous shaky cam and bad focus. Yet somehow...it does work here - there really was no other way for the movie to be so immersive without utilizing this technique. However, between this and Cloverfield, woe to the next film that tries to implore this method.

The set-up was very formulaic; in the first 20-30 minutes, the film rams the main characters down your throat in an attempt to build some kind of empathy for the eventual gorefest to follow. Call it sadistic, but I couldn't wait for these people to get mauled - that to me was the entertainment.

On a technical level, the make up was top notch. I had to admit, I cringed at how effective some of the gore and blood effects were. Some of the shock moments were cheap and to be expected, but there were a few surprises I thought were really well done.

There was a point where I figured it out fairly early (the whole supervirulent rabies angle), and it amazed me how dense the audience was. There was a scene where the camera man stomps out a rat that charges him. It was a squeam and laugh moment for the crowd. For me, I was in my seat thinking, "Am I the only one who realizes that small rodents don't normally charge humans unless they're rabid?" On that note, I thought the rabies strain was a nice touch. It grounded the premise to some bit of established fact, and made the terror a little more real. I thought it was perfect that aside for making it known that it was a possible mutant strain of rabies, nothing else was explained...until the end <sigh>. Why they had to throw in the "mad scientist from a death cult" to justify the disease is beyond me.... After that point, I couldn't help but smile and intermittently inject, "My God...Syphon Filter!" in my head during the rest of the movie.

My only other gripes I had with the film? I don't see how this disease is tenfold more effective than steroids and myoplex in making grannies and little girls into super strength monstrosities in a span of twenty minutes. The other is Jennifer Carpenter's acting in the later half. She did well for the first half of the movie, but during the second half she devolved into a screaming fit of annoyance. Yes, I would be just as terrified in a situation like that, but I suspect the director forced her to pour on the "terror factor" (I would like to side on the fact that she is a much better actor than that). It failed to convey any true sense of hopelessness and claustrophobia...rather, after about five minutes of constant wailing and crying, I was wishing she'd get eaten already. My last (major) gripe with Quarantine? I'd sooner believe the CDC would have done a lot more than send in two unarmed scientists to take some samples. Where are the flamethrowers to purge clean the building? =)

Meh, but I'm a sucker for zombie and zombie-esque movies, especially with those that have a healthy dose of disease thrown in. Ask me again in six months if I liked this movie....

Now with better colors!

2008-10-07T05:57:55Z

Finished that La Pucelle/AltWW2 drawing I've been kicking around (what seems like forever).

JOY!

2008-10-05T07:23:37Z

It was cold, and it rained today! JOY! For the first time in a loooong time this year I felt truly alive. I always get this way when it turns cold towards the tail end of the year. ...Well, relatively cold as far as California is concerned. I realize there are much colder and rain soaked and/or snow packed places in the world - trust me, I wish I was elsewhere. Funny, considering the family is from a tropical region...but I *despise* the heat; I swear I must have been long descended from Nordic explorers. Go figure. Things are looking up for me as of late, and this nice weather is pure icing on the cake!

On a much different note, I think I want to try my hand (again) at a webcomic. Yeah yeah, this reaks of the "Me too!" syndrome, but it's a creative outlet nonetheless. Nothing fancy, just a simple "weekly". I was working on one not too long ago; I had partnered with a friend awhile back on an intriguing and most random concept, but sadly due to creative differences I had to end my run on that comic. Shame too because that particular comic was a lot of fun to work on. However, that left a taste in my mouth to create something new. Oh, and for the record: despite how it turned out, I do wish my friend the best on her run of the webcomic she created.

Of course, it would be nice if I had something from my original new webcomic to post. Silly me, I forgot my scanner here at the house is a pile of failure - I used to use the one at my old job to get all of my line work in on the computer. So much for that, perhaps I should work in a new scanner in my budget.... O_o

This new webcomic is a venture into voyeurism mixed with fear and the desperate struggle to survive. It's called "The Bowl", the trials and tribulations of different fruit stranded in a bowl who won't go down without a fight. It's not for the squeamish, there will be juice spilled! I'm just saying, don't get too terribly attached to the characters I introduce, you'll never know what will happen....!

What to do, what to do....

2008-09-30T06:47:58Z

I has escaped! I'm about to start a new job in two weeks, a smaller place with more of an opportunity to grow with the company. Besides, it was about time to go. A certain place was just getting too big too fast, and I was getting lost in the shuffle. The joke around the office is that we all had names once. I never did like being number 247, the "malcontent" known for exercising too much independent thought. Frankly, I'm not going to miss working the unreasonable hours, eating cake for dinner while working on a Friday night (see last post - ha, that was the day I turned in my 2 weeks incidentally)....among other grievances....

Two whole weeks (and some change!). I can't remember the last time I had such a nice gap away from work, save for my days in college while on summer break. Ahh, nights spent up watching Conan O'Brien and sketching into the wee hours of the morning. Life was much simpler then. I guess I should be catching up on the numerous art projects I started up over the years instead of blogging - but then again, I could also use the time to just get a crap load of cleaning done. I can't see the floor of my studio, and it's hard to focus on creating art while living in squalor. Of course, if I sink down and get that PS3 I've been clamoring for, everything else is just going to go out the window...! O_<;

Eating cake...at work...on a Friday night.....

2008-09-20T04:42:14Z

So here I am, still at the office.... On the couch waiting for some prints to process.... And I'm having cake because I missed the dinner order call and there's nothing else to eat. Of course, I can't leave with this pending pile of work that mysteriously appeared right at six. How convenient. Or is that just sad and pathetic?

I'm looking out the window, and I see the classy high and mighty sharing the same filthy Hollywood streets with the down and out. Loud music from the club across the way is causing the window pane in front of my face to vibrate rhythmically. I think to myself, "Is this what my Fridays have become?".

Sigh....

Not all is lost though, at least with this Friday in particular. I am spending some time with 2 really good friends I will soon be leaving behind as I start a new job in the coming weeks. It's a melancholic moment, something straight out of a Camera Obscura song (minus the usual overlying theme of a shattered romance).

Now with color!

2008-09-12T22:56:48Z

Just a rough pass of color for La Pucelle....

La Pucelle....

2008-09-11T08:03:14Z

I've always been a history nerd, especially when it concerns World War 2. Laugh if you will, but every now and then I'll have odd dreams about being in WW2, usually in the vein of a super science fiction pulp. Over the years, I would jot down random ideas and scribble out sketches for what may one day become a full blown original graphic novel of my creation. I thought of some pretty crazy spins on the Great War - Germany, pushed on both fronts and losing the war, turns to both super science and the occult in an attempt to turn the tide. That means zombies! And rocket pack equipped shock troops, walking battle armor, genetically engineered HunderMensch...and maybe even a Vampire Count secretly among German High Command. Not to be outdone, Russia and Tesla build "Death Ray" guns along with giant "land fortress" battletanks. And the Allies? Shhh, top secret stuff!

Recently, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be rad to reinvent a historical figure in this crazy new alternative WW2 setting of mine?" Then it hits me...a new "Joan of Arc" tasked with expelling the The Third Reich out of occupied France! Instead of sword and shield, this maiden wields a commandeered MP-40 machine gun, a handful of grenades, and a Legionnaire's Saber! This is the result (it's a rough work in progress)....

I have only myself to blame....

2008-09-09T07:39:11Z

Every now and then I suffer through some annoying bouts of insomnia. It sucks. It really really sucks. I mean, who really enjoys a night of tossing and turning (with this heat wave making things all that more intolerable)? And just when it feels like I'm drifting off to la-la land, my alarm goes off to usher in the start of another miserable day! I slump around the office tired and angry...maybe uttering the occasional "...brains!" here and there.

Then it hits me. If I'm at the office early, I chug an energy drink on the drive in. I have a cup of coffee in the morning as soon as I get into the office. Followed by an iced coffee during my lunch. A cup of strong iced tea in the late afternoon. And every now and then a tall can of energy drink during the dinner hour for the late nights at work. ...So that's my problem! No source of caffeine before I go to bed! I'm so hooked on the shit that only the largest of doses has any real effect on me anymore. My body is probably going through withdrawals and won't let me sleep unless I get one last fix for the day.

Time to test that theory. Now where's that Red Bull I stashed in the back of the 'fridge?

Changes on the horizon....

2008-09-02T02:59:58Z

For good or bad I will have to wait and see. I'm thinking it's going to be for the better. I'm not going to reveal any more details until certain things have been...ahem, "set in motion". Y'know, just to be on the safe side =)

Words to live by

2008-08-25T15:47:42Z

Ah yes, golden words of wisdom. A co-worker (and my best friend there at the job) left this in my little notepad I jot work related stuff on.... Always full of encouragement!

Now to see if I can follow through on that To-Do list, and everything will be fine.

This pain...is exquisite!

2008-08-22T16:56:01Z

Or is that "excruciating"? I've been nursing a toothache for the last few days. Why is it that tooth pain is the most piercing, most raw of the "common" pains a person can feel? It comes and goes at random intervals, and when it strikes, it is utterly crippling! I can hardly think straight, and basic functions become herculean tasks. The military should develop some form of microwave emitting, tooth pain inducing device to incapacitate enemy personnel as a "less-lethal" weapon that...oh wait, the U.S. Navy is already working on a sonic vector "diarrhea gun"? Even better!

Photoshop...tool or crutch?

2008-08-20T03:23:03Z

For good or bad, I've found myself doing a lot of drawing directly into Photoshop lately. And if not a "start to finish" via PS, it's a lot of quick sketches scanned in and "corrected" on computer. That got me thinking about the whole illustration process, and I wonder if Photoshop is yet another tool, or becoming a digital crutch.... I'd like to know what you fellow artistes think.

As far as benefits go for drawing directly in Photoshop, I can say there are many. For one, I've been drawing a lot more because of it. I can jot down all the random ideas in my head, and with layers I can make quick notes and try new directions. I have been able to experiment with new styles, line quality, color, composition, etc. The process is a whole lot cleaner now (not to mention 'green with far less paper use!).

But there's something to be said about having a physical sketchbook in hand. The more adventurous I've become on the computer, the less I am on paper. In fact, I'm embarrassed to say that I've gotten messier in the "traditional" mediums, knowing that I can correct it all in PS (or rebuild a super clean version in Illustrator). My collection of sketchbooks are getting neglected and dusty! =(

One could argue that drawing skills can be dulled by excessive use of the computer. I'm not so sure about that; and as for me personally, I'd like to argue the opposite. While my traditional pencil-on-paper drawings have suffered a bit, my overall illustrations in the end have gotten better. Ideally, my pencil (and other traditional media) work would need minimal corrections in the first place...but by having them on the digital canvas, I can spot mistakes I may easily miss otherwise. And in the end, I'm still learning about the drawing process, seeing what works and what doesn't...and isn't that what counts most? Because whether it's rendered with traditional tools or on the computer, mistakes will inevitably be made. The important part is to learn from them and add to the overall artistic experience. Here's where the question of tool vs. crutch comes in. Am I truly developing as an artist, or am I hindering my growth by an over reliance on Photoshop?

Deep down inside I'd like to think it's another tool; I suppose a fair metaphor for my argument that I could cite would be the early days of computer generated animation. Technological advancements aside, I can remember how crude computer animation was in its infancy. The only people that were creating computer animated shorts and films were programmer types who knew the software inside and out, but lacked a traditional animation background. Most weren't even artists...! There was little to be had in the way of movement and weight...heck, even fundamental principles such as the "bounce" and "stretch and squash" were nonexistent (or executed horribly) in the early CG works. Flash forward to today where most (I say most, unfortunately not all...) CG films exhibit the subtle nuances of animation that give it the illusion of life. Bottom line: knowing software doesn't mean squat if you don't have an artistic background to fully utilize it.

Still, it's not a justification to get sloppy with my non-computer created work. If I am to truly use PS as another tool, I have to make sure I apply a high standard of quality across *all* of my artwork. It's a lapse of discipline on my behalf I admit. Ok, down off my soapbox now. Thank you all!

Man I'm hungry, I should go eat dinner now....

Edit: still here at work, and I managed to pick the brains of some of the designers and artists here. Someone brought up a good point about perceiving PS as another tool, and that is the issue of accessibility. At the risk of showing my age, PS was once simply a file conversion tool. As time when on, it became more complex, but at the same time, more available to the public. There is now a generation of artists that have PS at their fingertips. I would love to travel back in time and witness the rise of common art tools we today take for granted. "Still carving out of marble? Pshaw, the pencil is where it's at, yo!" =D

Words are weird

2008-08-18T16:50:44Z

Is it just me or do you notice that the longer you stare at a word, you begin to question its spelling? I mean, I think the written language is an amazing concept - the transcription of the very essence of communication into (arbitrarily defined) visual symbols. Then again, the whole idea of language itself is pretty mind boggling. Ah but that's a whole other topic - back to the issue at hand: spelling....

For example, I see the word "box". I know what a "box" is, and what the word represents...but why is it "b-o-x" than say, "b-o-c-k-s"? And on that note, why isn't "socks" "s-o-x"? Sorry, this is what goes on in my head when it's 3 in the morning and I can't fall asleep. Doesn't help to have recently watched a mini-marathon of Ghost in the Shell (tv) and contemplate the musings of those lovable Tachikomas on words and their embedded meaning.

New piece of art

2008-08-15T15:07:47Z

Another Scott Pilgrim fan werks, this time of Envy Adams. There isn't enough Envy Adams art out there! It's a gift piece for VickyJane, so drop by my DeviantArt site (and her's, she is *AWESOME*) NAO PLEEZE!